人生若能遇到势均力敌无比坦诚的谈话对手，经历这样一次以心印心的对谈，真的可以无憾了。
(一)
Why am I watching all this shit? It is not about the shit. It's about me. Right.Yeah. Why am I doing it? The minute I start talking about this staff, it sounds, number one, very vaque, and number two, really reductive. I don't think you're being vaque or reductive at all. Okay. because I don't have a diagnosis…or a system of prescription as to why we…when I say "we" I mean people just like you and me…mostly white , upper middle class, obscenely well educated , doing really interesting jobs, sitting in really expensive chairs watching the best , most sophisticated electronic equipment money can buy. Why do we feel so empty and unhappy? Right. It's kind of like Hamlet except with channel surfing. I'm not saying watching TV is bad or a waste of your time any more than, like, masturbation is bad or a waste of your time. It's a pleasurable way to spend a few minutes. But if you are doing it 20 times a day…if your primary sexual relationship with your own hand, something is wrong.
(二)
Why aren't you married at 34? You first. Okay. Un…I don't know. I just think it's hard to cast that role, you know, to fill it when you know it is gonna be like 30 to 40 years. To find someone who , whatever mental landscape you're in, they're gonna be in it too. You have to find someone who fit any landscape you can imagine. I don't know. I can't put it in as well as you can. you know, about there mental landscapes. I just I know that I am hard to be around. No,I don't think so. I am. Why do you say that? When I want to be alone, like, to write, I really want to be alone. I think if you dedicate yourself to anything, one facet of that is that it makes you very very self-conscious. And you end up using people…wanting them around when you want them around…and then sending them away.
(三)
You awake? Yeah. I was just thinking, um, it wasn’t a chemical imbalance, and it wasn’t drugs and alcohol, I think, um, it was much more that I had lived an incredibly American life. this idea that if I could just achieve X and Y and Z, that everything would be okay. there’s a thing in the book about how when somebody leaps from a burning skyscraper, it’s not that they’re not afraid of falling anymore. it’s that the alternative is so awful. and so then you’re invited to consider what could be so awful that leaping to your death would seem like an escape from it. I don’t know if you have any experience with this kind of thing, but it’s worse than any kind of physical injury. It may be in the old days what was known as a spiritual crisis, feeling as though every axiom in your life turned out to be false, and there was actually nothing, and you were nothing. And that it’s all a delusion and you’re so much better than everybody, cause you can see how this is just a delusion. and you’re so much worse because you can’t fucking function, it’s really horrible. I don’t think that we ever change. I'm sure that I still have those same parts of me. guess I’m trying really hard to find a way not to let them drive, you know. hey, um, okay, good night.
(四)
When I think of this trip, I see David and me in that front seat of his car. We are both so young. He wants something better than he has, I want precisely what he has already. Neither of us knows where our lives are going to go. It smells like chewing tobacco, soda and smoke. and the conversation is the best one I ever had. David thought books existed to stop you from feeling lonely. If I could, I’d say to David that living those days with him reminded me what life is like instead of being a relief from it. and I'd tell him it made me feel much less alone.
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