不恐同，但也对此类题材无爱。同学力荐的《莫里斯的情人》是硬撑着看完的。这一部像是Maurice的女版，不同的是，Maurice改编自E.M.福斯特的小说，而The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister则是基于真实的故事：安妮李斯特用只有自己才能看懂的文字写成的日记。一经解密，这部珍贵的作品为我们还原了当时真实的情形。
Anne Lister生活的年代比起Maurice甚至还要早接近一个世纪。在那个年代，同性恋更是难以启齿的罪恶。Anne不顾世俗的眼光，将自己想要的幸福看成垂手可得的事，每天甜蜜蜜的筹划着自己和Mariana的未来。Mariana的婚姻像是当头一棒将她打懵了，然而热忱的爱让她原谅了Mariana。在Mariana信誓旦旦的允诺下，Anne再一次陷入了看不到终点的等待。可是，当她的言行越过Mariana内心划定的界限时，冲突也就爆发了。当两个人可接受的底线已经越拉越远，她们再也难回到过去。在她们激烈的争吵中，我竟然为Anne勇敢、炽烈、不顾一切的感情所感动了，并记下了她们的对白：
Mariana: What were you thinking? A fine story you’ve given the coachman, and everyone he carries for the next week. Miss Lister marching across the moors like a madwoman.
Miss. Lister: No, please, I’m sorry. Just come home with me, Mariana. Come home to Shibden with me.
Mariana: You know I can’t.
Miss. Lister: Why can’t you? Just come. Leave Charles, you don’t need him any more.
Mariana: What would I tell him?
Miss. Lister: It doesn’t matter!
Mariana: People would say things. You must understand that I would rather die than our connection be known.
Miss. Lister: Ashamed. You’re ashamed of me.
Mariana: Why must you draw attention to yourself so?
Miss. Lister: How can you be my wife if you’re ashamed to be seen with me?
Mariana: Do you have to keep playing this game? Women can’t marry! We could have a good life see each other often, if only you wouldn’t insist on us living together.
Miss. Lister: That’s no life!
Mariana: You live in a girlish dream! Yes, we might live as companions, but the way you are with me… Think! People would smoke us in days. We’d be ruined., ridiculed, cut by all society!
Miss. Lister: Then why have you said you would live with me for so long!
Mariana: Because I love you!
Miss. Lister: A coward love!
Mariana: The world is the way it is and we cannot change it!
Miss. Lister: Then I see you are not the woman of all hours for me. I crave a stronger character. Only in bed are you excellent!
Mariana: You cannot live without me.
Miss. Lister: Oh, but I do. And I cannot bear it any longer. I want to share my life with someone. I want that. Or nothing at all.
Mariana: I can’t.
有时我做事也会思前想后，顾虑重重，事后难免也会被后悔折磨。这就是我对Anne心生敬佩的原因。在她对Mariana彻底心灰意冷后，有这样一句独白：It’s as if I’ve woken from a feverish home. I can live and work and still be happy. I have been an Icarus but shall fall less fatally. From this moment I will, without remorse, suit my convenience.
Icarus是希腊神话中巧匠Daedalus之子，父子俩被困克里特岛，父亲于是用蜡和羽毛制成翅膀逃命。离开前，父亲警告儿子克制飞高的欲望否则离太阳太近，蜡翅膀就会融化。然而Icarus飞上天空后沉溺于翱翔的快乐，忘记了父亲的提醒，越飞越高，最终翅膀被太阳融化，溺海而亡。Anne Lister是勇敢的，曾不顾一切追寻理想的生活，即使犯过错误，也勇于与过去决断，重新开始。勇者无惧也无憾，她做到了，最后获得了自己想要的幸福。当Mariana请求重新回到她身边时，她也终于能够淡然的说不。Her life was full of ups and downs, yet she turned out to be a surprisingly good wave-rider.
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